End of the World As We Know It

Giant earthquakes (the real big one's) in the next few decades!

NPR:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98144351

NPR: Vegas Suicide Capital of the World! YAY US!

We are SOOO fuckin money!:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98042717

Auto Bailout Fails: Welcome to the House Of Fun

Haven't yet blogged about the catastrophe on here yet, but I had it pegged in June (and I got witnesses). Anyway, here's an email I just sent to my girlfriend. I love watching the apocalypse... if only we didn't have to die in it...

Just heard that Bush said that the 700B money was already allocated and couldn't be spared to save the Big 3. Pray that, in an hour and a half, 9:30 EST, that all hell doesn't break loose.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98174992

I love it! I swear: it's like the Bush administration (and I mean, HIM, the DUBYA, SPECIFICALLY - because he's the LAST HOPE FOR THE BIG 3) has spent 8 years trying to outdo himself in his seemingly unending capacity for propelling us, the world, and the universe, towards ever-heightening catastrophe. Dubya may have given up drinking years ago, but, even as his last moments at the helm slip through his fingers, he seems determined to steer us into spine-destroying crashes.

What happened:
Republicans harpooned the bailout on 3 fronts:
1. Ideological (which is madness)
and (even worse) 2. To interject union-busting paycuts into the bailout (which works on 2 fronts: 1, they'll never be held accountable for drawing votes away from passing the thing from dems who can't stomache cutting UAG salaries to NON-UNION wages, and 2., Helps them lay the blame on the whole disaster they are leaving at the feet of the incoming administration while simultaneously defending rust-belt constintuencie's corporate interests in defeating the unions).

Ultimately, the horrifying thing is that these cocksuckers are going to get away with this, and the American people are going to suffer. Hold your breath, sweetheart; your nausea at the economy might just shift into rational fear mode by 6:30 AM. Fridays are usually sell-off days anyway, and with this, which will nearly instantly add 3 percent to unemployment if the big 3 fail with fallout through all manufacturing sectors in the market to follow within the month (probably to the tune of 10-15 million people out of work in under 40 days)... hold your breath, sweetheart. This is the top of the roller-coaster. This is super-fucking-ultra bad.

Meanwhile...

Oh God... you don't even want to know this... HSI closed down 855 points JUST ON SPECULATION THAT THIS BILL WOULDN"T PASS because China uses so many of the same part vendors as the Big 3 and them going down would have catastrophic implications for their supply chain...

1 hour, ten mins until the fireworks start...

Time to get fucked up. I wish I had stocked up on booze!

Love ya kiddo!

(This is going to be pasted to my end of the world blog)

METAL CLOUDS?!

luminescent clouds may contain metal

The Big Bang Machine (or: Hopefully not our last 3 and a half hours on earth):

At 12:30 pacific time, the Large Hadron Collider (HLC) will be activated, beginning the first phase of human science's attempt to simulate the Big Bang. The upside of this is that we will peer into previously unknown realms of quantum physics, perhaps finding answers for some of the most bedevilling fundamental questions that currently plague theoretical physicists. The downside is that (perhaps) it may create a black hole that will destroy the universe... in the center of the earth. Which would be REALLY, REALLY bad.


So, to that end (and as your president), enjoy the next three hours. Personally, I intend to get drunk, play fighting games, and have already embraced the infinite by ordering a pizza.


And - as if the next three hours weren't frightening enough - just know that, should we survive the aftermath of the "on" switch, we can spend the next three weeks in terror until they turn the thing on itself (which is when the real danger begins, and the REAL simulation of the big bang happens).


In the mean time, know that I (probably) love you, and take comfort in the cheerful, robotic voice of Stephen Hawking, who told the press (when asked about these somewhat troubling concerns and what might happen after activating the 15 Billion dollar machine): "iF w3 kNeW wH4t W4s g0InG 2 H4pP3n, w3 woU1dN'T h4v3 Sp3Nt s0 mUcH m0N3y bu1LdInG th3 M4aHiN3.
"

Cheers!

hear the hawkmeister himself talk about it

Oceanic Dead Zones DOUBLED In 2 Years

Skipping merrily towards the apocalypse, here's another little tidbit of scientific information that you will surely wish to begin ignoring posthaste:

Oceanic Dead Zones Go Global (Discovery Channel News)

Ice-Free Arctic

Lots of people are saying its could be coming in 5 years!

Hooray!

Gulf Dead Zone Wants To Hug You!!!

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/07/23/gulf-dead-zone.html

Carribrean monk soul!

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2008/06/09/caribbean-monk-seal.html

Apocalypsemobile

From Wired